News - 30th January 2019

Pirate’s Cove parkrun!


Time: several hours beyond sunrise. Location: Fletcher’s Cove. A frosty morning, temperatures as chill as the frost on a buccaneer’s stubble. The Cove Admiral raises his telescope and the specter prompts him to echo the words of Horatio Nelson as he turned a blind eye at the Battle of Copenhagen. ‘I see no ships’..




But alas, alack, from down the Potomac’s choppy waters, from their marooned encampment on the Island of Roosevelt, held hostage weeks now by the full freeze of this nations strange practice of government, a band of parkrun pirates emerged and flung themselves upon the hapless Fletcherites, robbing them of their gilets jaunes, stealing from them their briefing words and obliging a feeble wave of a white handkerchief and surrender of the day….




Entrusted this day to concede and oblige a running of Roosevelt’s Cove, it behooves me to admit they ransacked us magnificently, beautifully attired, resplendent with fine weaponry, fine gadgetry even, fine spirit, and graciously I can only conclude that in war, there can indeed be love and peace.


84 parkrunners from Fletcher’s Cove and Roosevelt Island covered the distance, including a forced long labored marching of a plank. They included 22 first timers and visitors from the Scottish highlands and from across the wind swept Urals.




My admiral’s bicorne I take off in salute to the Roosevelt volunteers and the Fletcher’s shipmates who put camaraderie first and put up no resistance. Our submission upholds our honor.


We the people believe this magnanimous gesture to the pirates of Roosevelt Island parkrun was clearly the impetus that led to a reopening of government and liberating their woefully stricken island.


Admiral Dan


We would like to extend our congratulations to the Roosevelt Island parkrun team for remaining strong through the loss of their parkrun during the government shutdown. One week they met up for coffee anyway, and worked on putting together the parkrun USA roundup. On Martin Luther King Day they met up in frigid temperatures to do a river bank clean up near the island. Some weeks they went touring to other DC-area parkruns. And one week they staged a pirate takeover of Fletcher’s Cove parkrun. 




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